Thanks for the review, @SAGuy.  Bartels is one of my go-to lunch spots. The bread is great, the sandwiches are tasty and there are lots of options, and the juices are terrific. I hear the coffee is very good, but I'm not a coffee drinker. I share your complaint about the noise. The juicers and blenders are running constantly, so if you're sitting close to the bar it can be pretty noisy. I wish they'd do the juicing and blending back in the kitchen where the food is prepared. Prices are a bit higher than your typical Suk lunch spots, but I think the quality is also better. The bacon on my sandwich was thick and was a credit to the pig that surrendered it. The chicken was cooked using sous vide method and was delicious and moist.  

As do the Danish, especially with lard spread onto the bread. That's a choice which is mystifying to me. Jesus wept! What's next?  Not really sure why I'm moaning about though considering the stuff I will happily be eating when getting back to Thailand next month.

From memory, the Dutch favors this style as well.

My experience there was waiting for 30 minutes for my food to appear. It might be busy but that’s not a sign of a well organised kitchen. Decent food (nothing special) but I won’t go back because of the long wait even though it’s a convenient location.

A better option at the same price point is Roast. I’ve been to their restaurant in Emquartier and the Commons in Thong Lo and love the Turkish eggs.

Thanks for an entertaining and balanced review. Sorry to say the reason it was entertaining because I couldn't help laughing at the awkward atmosphere caused by a stray hair being spotted in your condo. That sounds very familiar I quite like Bartels but have only been to the Sathorn branch where I had a frustrating experience using the online ordering system with some items not being on the menu and some food not turning up. It was all a bit of shambles but according to my dining companions that was probably my fault, they might well be correct as I was hungover and vaguely irritated by the "system". All that irritation was forgotten when the food arrived, my friends who go there quite regularly recommended both the grilled cheese and tuna melts and with that they were definitely correct. Both were delicious and I'd recommend them if unsure what to order.   I'm going to go a little bit off topic here (for a change), sorry for a mini rant about something incredibly petty:   What the fuck is an open sandwich? Why is it open? Surely it's just some stuff on bread rather than being a sandwich. Do they think it's better because it doesn't have bread on top?That's one of my pet hates. Bastards!   Rant over. Sorry about that.