SAGuy

So on my last trip to LOS I had 22 nights and 8 different hotel stays. I stayed here for 3 nights. Backstory - one of the 5 LBs in the Wolf Pack lives out in Isaan and is a 'civilian'. She had implants in BKK a few months ago and so I fly her back to BKK once a month for a few days to have the check ups, do shopping etc. (There are no H&M or Zara stores in southern Isaan). She chose this hotel, as its very close to the MRT station and 5 minutes walk to the clinic. She also wanted to save me money. As I said, a civilian! I decided to join her there for 3 nights, so as to avoid any potential problems with the other Wolf Pack members... How can I describe the CMYK? A Chinese version of Fawlty Towers maybe? If you were in the right frame of mind, you could laugh it all off and it certainly is cheap. But not my cup of tea. The guests and staff all stared at me every day as I was the only farang there over 3 nights. They probably wondered if I was lost? The original room was spartan and had NO windows! It felt like a gaol cell. I managed to get an upgrade for the next 2 nights, and that room was much better, but the shower flooded every time it was used. Breakfast was 99% oriented to the Chinese guests, which is fair enough, as they are 99.997% occupied by Chinese mainland guests. Positives - it was very cheap and clean and walking distance to the MRT. It is also an experience I can look back at and laugh. If you walk down soi 4 to the main road and turn right by 7-11 there is a great dim sum place across the street. If you walk out the hotel and turn right there is a great laundry which did same day service - THB 100 for about 3 Kgs. There was also a very good chicken noodle soup shop near to the laundry - THB 40! These prices just highlight the differences as to what farangs pay around Sukhumvit, just 4 MRT stops away. A really good benefit was the massage joint downstairs inside the hotel. On the first night I went in with the LB and had a great massage from a GG who had great tits. The next night the LB wanted to kip, so I feigned a pulled muscle and headed on back downstairs. Great happy ending massage from the GG. I never got her Line address, damn! By the back entrance to the hotel is Mr Tip, who runs a tour guide service etc. He was really good and I got a ride from him back to Citrus soi 13 for THB 200 in the pouring rain. Good driver and great English. He is an ex-civil servant. Would I stay there again? No chance! I have booked the LB Wolf Pack member into the place across the street which is more expensive, but looks a lot nicer. Would I go back to the massage place to find that GG again, oh yes! I would also repeat the chicken place and the dim sum joint. Cheers SAG

I cant find a dedicated folder for Chiang Mai so have added this hotel report here. So somewhere along the line on my Sep-19 trip to BKK, a plan was hatched to go and visit Chiang Mai (CNX). Poes and Nam from WN Bar plus 5 LBs and myself flew up there for 2 nights and Mrs Poes booked us into the Sripanna. Great choice Nam! A really nice hotel and as its on the outskirts of the city, it feels like a real resort, but is only about 10 minutes into the CBD. It was about THB 2,000 per night inclusive for 2 per room and the rooms were 5 star and very large. In fact the bathrooms alone were larger than a typical BKK hotel room! What was great was that the rooms had adjoining doors to the next room, which was EXCELLENT, but that's another story... I missed both breakfasts, but we did have dinner there one night when Poes was feeling under the weather with the Aztec Two-step. The food for lunch and dinner is buffet style and not bad at all. I often find with LBs, a buffet is the best approach, rather than a la carte! I had calls to take/make on both days so had to miss some of the daytime activities, but the girls enjoyed the spa very much. I think its THB 2,200 for 2 hours. I jokingly told them to book 1 session and take turns of 20 minutes each, but I guess they saw through that one. They have a free shuttle service into town, which is a van, but it ends at 20.00. I don't remember much of either return journey, except that it involved tuk tuks and crowding! The service is as to be expected from a 5 star establishment, so THB 2,000 is a very good deal booked via Agoda. Its a busy conference venue so lunch times were busy with conference attendees, but the restaurant is big and has enough capacity to handle all attendees and guests. There were a few small Chinese tour buses, but they didn't cause any problems at all. Would I stay at the Sripanna again? Most definitely, especially just for the 'sleep walking' activities... SAG

Nana Hotel is on the list Taas, even if its just to tick the box! I love history and that place is wall to wall stories. Cheers SAG

On my last trip to BKK in Sep-19 I was on tour with BGSC who had booked this hotel for about 4 nights. Rather than complicate matters, I did the same. There's pros and cons to Citrus Soi 11 The location is a bit too far if its raining or particularly hot. Its not actually on soi 11 as we know it, its down at the very end, turn left and then right and then left again. Its about 150 metres down the sub soi that runs between soi 11 and soi 3. Traffic at that intersection can be a real bottleneck. They do have a tuk tuk, but its not on call and so only runs on the hour. Saying that, BGSC and I did turn it into a pick up tuk tuk one day when it was raining quite hard. The rooms are what to be expected for a sub THB 2,000 hotel. Breakfast was OK, but I only made it 50% of the time. Their target market is Indian sub-continentals and Arabs. So be ready for lots of milling and hanging around lifts and the reception area. Why do people go to BKK and then spend half their time hanging around hotels is beyond me? Maybe its an alternative to spending money? About 50% of the breakfast buffet was targeted at their market, which makes sense, but is a limitation for farangs who don't fancy a curry for breakfast after a long night out on the ale. The breakfast area is interesting. There is an enclosed space and then a terraced area and another area by the coffee bar. A number of them had made the enclosed area into a Saudi-style males only area and so families sat elsewhere. Obviously I took great delight in sitting in the unofficial males-only area with my LB guest, which was great fun. So in summary. Great value, clean and functional. Would I repeat? No. So after the 4-5 nights and a 2-nighter in PAT I then returned to BKK and checked into Citrus Soi 13. One other tip - I booked via Agoda, but if you book directly with them they offer better rates and also free upgrades etc. So that's worth a test if you want to stay at a Citrus establishment. Cheers SAG

LOL@Taas. Yes! In the old days when my tastes ran more to GG, the PB Hotel was my go to after a pick up from the Bier Garten on soi 7. It's just a 5 minute stroll around the corner to soi 3 Plus you get the fun of watching our middle Eastern chums late night activities on soi 3. I used to stay on soi 11 and so it was an easy walk back to the hotel from the PB also. Saying that, there's lots of ST places around soi 7, but I'm a creature of habit! Cheers SAG

Just to add to Olivers suggestion.... The PB Hotel is down soi 3 on the right hand side and is next to the sub soi that runs all of the way up to soi 11. (Thanks - this is another example of a cut-out soi that can be used to avoid the more crowded Sukhumvit. The upside is that it is very straight. The downside is that there is no pavement, so can be 'dicey' at night if there are cars). Anyway, back to the PB. It is actually 2 businesses. On the left is the low rise 'love motel' with the curtains to hide the car registrations and on the right is the main hotel. I'd recommend the main hotel, as its THB 100-200 more expensive, but in better condition. From memory you get 2 towels and soap and its for 2 hours. They call you when the time is up. It was a clean and efficient place, so not a bad option, if ST places, rather than your own hotel, are your thing. Cheers SAG P.S. The PB alludes to Play Boy!

Look on the bright side xcom, most of us have been in this situation. By the end of your stay you will have converted the 'walk of shame' into the 'stride of pride'! Either that or you will have resorted to ST rooms... Cheers SAG

This reminds me of a recent trip to Pune. The Indian government has implemented an online visa application system which they are unjustifiably proud of. In reality, it looks like some bureaucrat's son's/daughter's/nephew's/niece's 'skule siense projekt'. It took about 5 attempts to register and it asks in a myriad of ways what connections you may have with Pakistan. (Are your parents from Pakistan, are your grandparents from Pakistan, have you ever visited Pakistan, have you ever thought of visiting Pakistan, have you ever eaten in a Pakistani restaurant...). But once you have navigated the low-tech online visa system, then the fun really begins. Once you land, you have to go to one specific queue in immigration, as they only have one bar code reader. Needless to say the queue was for farangs only and the domestic arrivals and those with old school visas all got through the other 7 lanes within 10-15 minutes. (The under-employed 7 immigration officers then proceeded to make tea, sleep, pick their noses etc.). After 3.5 hours standing in the 'high-tech' single queue I was finally processed. (it took about 5 minutes once I was actually at the one machine). Oh yes, I was visiting Pune for an IT project... Cheers SAG

The problem is, for the average Chinese tourist, a line is an alien concept... SAG

I can attest to this, as I have been to LOS sometimes 6 times a year, all on visa waivers and always via an airport. I've never had a problem, but I am always careful of overstaying beyond the 30 days, which are counted from the day you arrive. Also be aware that if you fly into LOS, but then travel somewhere outside of the LOS and re-enter via a land border, then the counter is reduced to just 15 days from the re-entry date. This bit me once after a side trip to Cambodia. Cheers SAG

...thats the story of my life Taas! SAG

I've stopped off at the Artbox a couple of times on the 'Great Trek North' to soi 10 and 20... Its got the same vibe as the night market behind the Esplanade shopping centre by the Thailand Cultural Centre MRT station, but without the teaming crowds of Thais at the weekend. The food there is pretty good and there's a decent selection. I didn't look around any of the non-food stalls, as I was a man on a mission on the 2-3 occasions that I stopped off there, and time was of the essence! SAG

Hi Mikel Its something that my grandfather used to say, so probably pre-dates you! www.khaotic.co.uk gives Fred Karnos story - he is credited as being the one who discovered Charlie Chaplin! You live and learn! SAG

Hey Taas. That's very interesting, so I consulted the urban dictionary: "dog's breakfast," which has been British slang for "a complete mess" since at least the 1930s. While no one took the time to write down the exact origin of the phrase, the allusion involved seems to be to a failed culinary effort, perhaps a burned or botched omelet, fit only for consumption by the mouth of last resort, Fido. As a vivid figure of speech meaning something so fouled up as to be utterly useless, "dog's breakfast" can cover anything from a play plagued by collapsing scenery to a space mission ruined by a mathematical error. "Dog's dinner," which seems to have appeared around the same time, means exactly the same sort of disaster, but has the advantage of being attractively alliterative. Both phrases are heard occasionally in the U.S., but are more common in the U.K. and Commonwealth countries. Dogs Dinner: British expression: 1) a mess; a clusterfuck; synonymous with dog's breakfast 2) dressed up, usually excessively; gussied up. Usually derogatory. 1) The wedding, despite months of preparations, disintegrated into a dog's dinner. 2) The cook asked the skullery maid, "Where are you going, dressed up like a dog'sdinner?" Interestingly my own usage of dogs dinner is around the "dressed up like a dog's dinner" usage. Whereas I would only ever use a dog's breakfast to describe a botch job or a mess. I guess the usage may be different between the motherland and the colonies? Case in point - Brits will say: "its like Fred Carno's Circus", whereas we say "its like Boswell Wilkie's Circus" - the same meaning but different circus names! Cheers SAG

Hey there sincity Yes they still also use the landing card and you have to make sure that you keep the stub with your passport, as they collect that when you exit. So to sumnarise, it's a dogs breakfast of low tech and medium tech... Cheers SAG

Hey Taas Wandering slightly off topic - one of the benefits of living in the third world is that lung torpedoes can still be purchased for less than USD 1, which shows how much sin tax you are paying in the UK! Regarding the illegality of vaping in Thailand, I wonder if its a coincidence that it is rumoured that the Thai Minister of Health owns a substantial shareholding in the cigarette importing monopoly? TIT after all! Cheers SAG

Staying strictly on topic here Ropey... I can confirm that this is certainly correct for BKK, DMK and UBP airports. In March I spent a fruitless 30 minutes walking around BKK looking for the 2 smoking rooms that I used to use, only to be told that they had all been shut down. This was also the case for DMK and UBP in May. My advice is to binge smoke outside in one of the designated areas, prior to going through security, otherwise it could be a long flight! I don't know why they did this, as the rooms were sealed and so wouldn't affect non-smokers. From experience, once an airport does this, then it will rarely ever go back to the previous set-up. It will be very interesting to see how the hordes of Chinese package tourists, who are famed for their law abiding nature and non-smoking, will be able to handle these new regulations. Maybe that's the Thai master plan - generate a big extra income from fines levied on illicit smoking in the toilets? Cheers SAG

I used to cut through the Ambassador Hotel shortcut to get to soi 13 on a daily basis about 3 years ago. The clientele seemed to be large coach parties from the Indian sub-continent, who were always just milling around aimlessly. Maybe they were all saving their energy for the 1,000 hookers that night? For this reason I never considered staying there, although as Ropey points out, the facade is quite nice. If you look at the prime ground space it is located on, the best thing they could do would be to knock it down and build an NEP-style complex there, as it is situated on a very large plot of land. Cheers SAG

One other note regarding the map kindly provided by OTS: If you take the side soi from Citrus Suites down to soi 3 (Soi Arab!) and then turn right, that will take you to the PB Hotel which used to be my go to for ST rendezvous. There's actually 2 sections to this 'love hotel' There's a motel style set-up with curtains outside each parking bay, so visitors can hide their cars. There's also the main hotel building. I'd recommend the main hotel building which charges slightly more, but is a lot better. It used to be THB 400-500 for 2 hours and 2 towels, but that may have increased over the past 3 years. Cheers SAG

The alternative short cut from Citrus Suites would be to take the side soi by the Holiday Inn Express, which joins up with Soi 13. There's also a side soi connecting the Ambassador Hotel to soi 13. Soi 13 is a bit dark at night down towards the bottom end, but it also has a lot less traffic than soi 11 and takes you out to Sukhumvit by Margarita Storm, which is almost opposite CIB and you can access the other side of Sukhumvit via the overpass near to Holly's Coffee Shop. WN Bar is about a 5 minutes brisk walk from there also. A top tip for walking to WN Bar is to take the elevated walkway that connects from Robinson all of the way through to Terminal 21 and then past Soi 21. This has the advantages of being a covered walkway and you also avoid the traffic lights of the Asok intersection. Cheers SAG

Thanks for the great news Naughty. I've been putting off visiting Pulse, as I need to get a few 'exotic' jabs and just read an article about an outbreak of Encephalitis in India. I do need to get my act together, prior to making that trip. The Trendy Building on soi 13 is unbelievably convenient for me, as that's where the office is located! The Lord hath spoken, this must be a sign! LOL. Cheers and thanks for the very useful information, its a lot more convenient than making the trek to Silom. Now all that they need to do is get the lift capacity in the Trendy Building sorted, so that it can cope with the hordes of wannabe visa applicants from Nana hoping to visit their 'true loves' in Oz, NZ, Canada and the UK! SAG

I've never stayed at Fraser Suites, as I found it to be too far down Soi 11 and traffic can make a taxi ride a long term investment at night. However, I can attest to the rooftop bar, which is really nice and a great place to take chums at night. I seem to recollect taking Jell there a few times, a few years ago. Cheers SAG P.S. Youngone - does each room there come with such attractive room service?

Ah ha. Thanks for the explanation Ropey. That all makes sense now. But what would make the most sense is if you could use the 1 card across all 3 networks! Cheers and thanks for the in-country intel, much appreciated. SAG

Three different entities all providing the same form of service! Sounds like a typical emerging market 'strategy' to share the wealth to me. Logic would dictate that there would be just 1 common payment card, but when there's money and spoils to be had, all logic goes out of the window and customer convenience becomes non-existent! My favourite story about the three transport modes is now that you have to use a passport if you want to top up credit on the BTS, but no passport is still OK with the MRT. The mind boggles, but you just smile and repeat "TIT". In SA the phrase you use is "TAB" (That's Africa Baby.") Cheers SAG

Hey there Thanks Yes I agree, if it is a gradual approach, then that's all fine, but my spider sense tells me its not a plan, but rather a 'tick of the box'. We shall see... Regarding the initial retina scans in DXB, I share your pain! My first one was 10+ years ago and very stupidly I had my eyes lasered 3 days before I first got there. They became so impatient with me, as it wasn't registering, that they were threatening to turn me back after the 5th failed attempt. Luckily, with the aid of copious amounts of saline solution, the sixth attempt worked. Moral of the story is don't get your eyes lasered so close to the retina scan! Planning and technology roll outs don't tend to go hand in hand in emerging countries, as witnessed by the UAE constantly digging up new roads over and and over again, as they forgot something. In BKK my favourite example is the fact that you have to have separate stored-value cards to ride the underground, skytrain and airport express. Logically, just one card across all 3 transport modes would make sense,. But then I guess that would mean only 1 billing system and 1 set of hardware, which then cuts down the number of RFPs that they can issue, with all of the associated 'leakage' that goes on with the RFP process in some countries... Cheers SAG